'Tis the season of customer retention

I have received more emails, newsletters and blog postings from all whom I have encountered during this very tough year of 2009.  That's ok, but doesn't float my enthusiasm boat. I think in tough times, personal touch means everything! So 'tis the season to GET PERSONAL!

Clients love to hear from their vendors, vendors love to hear from their clients.  Your personal touch means you care, you are ready to listen to them about what is going on in their lives and you both will walk away with a feeling of mutual gratitude.

Here is a reach and touch a customer tips for the season:

1. Make a list with phone numbers of all clients, however brief, that you did business with this year.
2. Make a list of all the vendors, with phone numbers, however brief, that you did business with this year.
3. Prepare a thank you statement that has at least three versions.  Ex: Hi I am calling to thank you for your business this year.  Hi, I am calling to thank you for being such a great vendor.  I so appreciated bringing the (insert product/service name) to (XYZ company).  Have a happy new year and a prosperous 2010!
4. Take one hour each morning until December 31st and CALL EVERY CLIENT and VENDOR. Use the prepared statement as a springboard for what you really say. 
5. Don't ask for anything - no referrals, no more business, no reminders.  Just a THANK YOU to them for having chosen your product or service.  Just a THANK YOU to those vendors that did a great job servicing your account.

You will be amazed at the reaction you will get and you will automatically rise to the top of visibility list.
Happy Holidays to all of you!

We control $4.3 Trillion in consumer spending!

The numbers are in and the facts are clear: Women control $4.3 TRILLION of the US Consumer spending. And WE WANT IT OUR WAY!!!

“The Rise of the Real Mom,” a white paper authored by Marissa Miley and Ann Mack and published by Advertising Age  took a good look at the mothers of today. They named it well as a Google search brought up 14Million searches for  'real mom'. I believe that the words will gallop into the lexicon of US English.

This is the most fascinating report as it covers the wide range of women aged 18 to 65. It identifies the percentage rise in education (YEAH) and the new expectations of the mothers who are also workers, careerists and fully in charge of their families.

A few facts:

Moms still do the majority of wet tasks (dishes, laundry, cleaning the bathrooms) while men stick to the dry jobs (driving children to school, making lunches, taking out the garbage).
Moms juggle far more in terms of activities than men
Have higher stress than men

Nice to have all this confirmed. I can assure that any wet task performed by men leave a bigger mess than when performed by women. So women know, “it’s just easier if I do it myself.”

VERY IMPORTANT FACT: Pragmatism and control rules the day!

To reach this real mom, marketers need not just to communicate that the
goods and services they offer are practical and convenient; they also need
to make real moms feel confident and in charge.

Let’s repeat that: practical and a sense of control! We are pressed for time, driving the kids to and fro (I clocked 100 miles one day), work, planning, homework, with little time left to breathe and think. The products today need to be easy to buy, pay for, receive and install!So in what categories do women exercise the practical and sense of control? Not surprisingly, it is vertical market specific.

Real Moms influence the buying decisions in these categories:

Personal Care 67%
Clothing 64%
Cosmetics 61%

Spouses and Partners have greater influence on buying decisions in these categories:

Electronics  45%
Cars 46%
Restaurants 42%


If you sell to women, how do you, as a business owner, sell to the ‘real moms’? Start with a look at your service or product and assess whether it appeals to this demographic. Next, how can you make it as easy as possible for real moms to buy from you? Third, look at your marketing materials and does it include the ideas of easy, practical and control?

With a few changes can you make the delivery of your product practical and easier to use? Can you do a bit of rewriting the marketing verbiage you have on your web site to reflect the concept of control, practicality, and time saving for your real mom client?

A quick personal experience to bring this info home: I wrote a twitter to promote my workbook on elevator pitches. It stated: Real moms: Easy, at your command, the ‘how to’ on creating an elevator pitch http://tinyurl.com/yfhess5

The results have been great!

Holiday is the time to listen.

"I am a shy person so I am more comfortable listening to others," so said by a speaker I recently heard at an awards show. 

What insight! What a great clue to working with people.  I have to admit that I get bored very easily talking all the time about my business. Listening to others becomes a pleasurable event when I calm down and open up to what they are saying. I get a sense of what is going on in their lives beyond what their words.  This helps me help them.


And if I know anything about the human being is that everyone wants to be heard deeply and sincerely. 

Here are few hints and tips on listening to all others this holiday season. 

How to Listen Well

• maintain eye contact;
  
  
• don't interrupt the speaker;
  
  
• sit still; stand comfortably to you don't weave or move too much; 
  
  
• nod your head; keep you hand still;
  
  
• lean toward the speaker; not too close as too imply intimacy, but enough to hear them clearly
  
  
• ask appropriate questions when the speaker has finished.

Barriers to Listening


Things that may get in the way of listening.

• bias or prejudice; do you like this person or not?
  
  
• language differences or accents;
  
  
• noise;
  
  
• worry, fear, or anger, boredom; 
  
  
• a different agenda for attending the event; 

So I ask you, "What is your challenge when listening to others?"

Google trends and more trends

Mary Ellen Bates is a superb librarian, and Bates Info Tip has transferred her skills of classifying information to the internet.  I received this from her and am using the tools provided by Google below.

Google has been doing some interesting things with its analyses of what people are while they are on the web. Google Trends, which was rolled out in 2006, lets you see how frequently words or phrases were search for in Google, over time. You can even compare the relative frequency of two different words or phrases. I was curious about how people referred to the H1N1 flu, and when the shift occurred from calling it “swine flu”. I typed in the two phrases, swine flu and H1N1, separated by a comma. [“swine flu”, h1n1] According to the search results, it wasn’t until October that most people shifted over to referring to the flu strain as H1N1. I can also see search trends in specific countries and in specific cities and states or provinces.

Google’s latest analysis tool is Google Trends for Websites. You provide one or more URLs; for each web site, Google displays the number of daily unique visitors, the countries or states/provinces they came from, other web sites that they have also visited, and terms they have also searched for. Just as Google Domestic Trends went beyond search queries to compare financial trends to its information, Google Trends for Websites extends its reach and analyzes information on web traffic from a number of outside sources.

Google Trends for Websites only works for fairly high-traffic sites, but can be a useful tool for seeing the relative popularity of web sites, and for getting ideas on alternative search queries on a topic.
Companies can use this as a quick way to see how their web traffic compares to those of its competitors, as well as to see what search words were being used to find them. See, for example, the difference in traffic by geographic location and over time for NBC, CBS and ABC.

Use this tool well to help you increase your keywords to direct traffic to you web site.  Also good information to use to see what your competition is doing.

Dude, your clothes!

"Dude, Your PJ's are on the bathroom floor," I remind my husband as he has one foot out the door.

 "What clothes?" he says, frustrated at being stopped 2 seconds away from a clean getaway. "What am I supposed to do with them," he asks.

"Geez I don't know." I reply calmly,  "How about roasting them for dinner?"

Hubby laughs and begrudgingly picks up his clothes and stuffs them onto the shelf.  At least they are off the floor.  I walk into the kitchen and now am aware why he gave in so quickly.  The sink is full of dishes from last night!  AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

A few months ago, I sat the family down and let them know that they needed to step up and participate in the running of the  house.  Laundry, setting the table, making dinner, cleaning up, etc. were tasks that everyone could do.  I cannot (and really don't want) to do it all!

I  created a grid of tasks and days of the week.  Each family member stepped up and signed up for jobs they wanted to do.  We would move them around every so many weeks so as not to get bored.  Hubby signed up for doing the dishes and  D#2 was to get herself up and ready for school by herself.

D#2 was rousted from her bed the next morning by an alarm clock we had set in her room. She walked to the kitchen and sat down, "Mom, I didn't think we were starting this morning!"  And she promptly fell asleep at the table.

Her sister woke her up and says, "Hurry up.  And make your own breakfast and lunch.  I've been doing it since I was ten and you are 13.  So get with it!"

D#2 started slowly, but made her own breakfast and lunch and wandered off to get dressed. 

Ahhh peer pressure.  I forgot to put that on the gird.

Flight Damage

Hubby took care of all the arrangements for our trip back to Chicago to visit family. He cashed in the chips for flights, hotels, car rental and limo to the airport.

But he forgot to mention a slight detail; food is no longer served on flights. So when he informed me of this fact, I panicked!

Ok, airport food it is.  We get through security and arrive at the gate with 15 minutes to spare.  I suggest Hubby board first and save us overhead compartment space. I park the kids and run to the Starbucks to buy sandwiches and bottled water.

The line was moving quickly. I figured I had 5 minutes to grab, pay and go. That is until “Miss Professional Complainer” stepped up to the counter.

“Um… I’ll have a this and that and ok that too. No wait, I don’t want you charging me for this one as you guys owe me.” The Starbucks crew of three looks befuddled and all manner of movement comes to a dead stop. FOR 4 MINUTES. And then it takes her another 4 minutes putting it all in her large bag! The entire line is rolling their eyes and doing the impatient dance.

I stand firm, knowing Hubby is not going to let the plane take off without us.

The line moves at a snails pace as the orders become complicated a la “too much choice” menu and time slips away. I abandon the line knowing I can buy (and at even higher prices) snacks on the plane and race to the kids. The line is empty, the passengers all on board and I think, cool, we just swipe and go.

But the Professional Complainer steps up right in front of us! And she now goes into her spiel with the ticket taker.

“You guys owe me an upgrade to business class. I missed a huge important party and well it was really important and you guys owe me an upgrade. I talked to the guy at the counter, but he didn't get how I missed this really important party. So you need to give me an upgrade.”

The ticket taker smiled her “valium smile” and waved PC on down the jetway to the airplane. We swiped passed the woman and smiled the “knowing smile.”

We are the next to last passengers down the jetway and I have "where are u?"texts buzzing my cell phone from Hubby.

Professional Complainer is now on the plane at the entrance giving her you-owe-me spiel to the greeting attendant. It lasts another 5 minutes while we wait impatiently behind her. She is told, “sorry no seats available in business class.” And the discussion picks up again. AHHHHHH!!!!

By now I am 1) hungry, 2) totally frustrated by this woman’s need to claim her upgrade at the last minute. I am ready to blow past her with a loud “Excusssse meeeee” but am dead stopped by a look from D#1, who is not about to be humiliated by her mother so early on in the trip.

Hubby falls asleep right after take-off so I reach into his pants pocket to grab his wallet. Years of marriage have taught me that once he’s out, he’s out so I continue working my hand down his pocket while the food service attendant looks on with patience.  Guess she has seen it all. I spend $25.00 on ‘snacks’ to make us happy.

We can hear the Professional Complainer, four rows ahead of us, still going on and on to her seatmate about how “they owe me an upgrade. I missed a really important party and well they owe me!”

In listening to her I realized how her speech was incredibily ineffective.  As she got off the plane, she was still letting all airline personnel, "you guys owe me an upgrade 'cause I missed a really important party."

What what is wrong with her spiel?

Happy Time of Year!

Wishing to all a Happy Time of Year made possible by the ability of each of us to find our happiness within ourselves and share it with the world. 

Demise of Print and Barbara Kingsolver

Was lucky enough to secure a ticket to see author extraordinaire Barbara Kingslover.  As we all know Ms. Kingsolver has written much beloved books such as "The Bean Trees," "Poisonwood Bible" and "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle."

Ms Kingsolver was entertaining and well spoken.  She was wonderful at pulling the audience into her daily writing life and the way she creates her novels.  For all budding, frustrated writers her description of her methodology of thinking out an idea, doing research and then committing the story to paper was a road map that hit its mark.   I could hear the muttering from the crowd as we were leaving: "She does research first!", "She is not always in control of her characters," "She loves to edit! She actually CUTS material!"

The audience questions were always bordering on reverence and the need to share how her books had changed their lives.  And one woman asked the key question of the evening:

"When you talk about a reader falling asleep while reading late into the night to last page and then the book, which has fallen on their face, becomes drenched with their tears, how do you feel about the Kindle?"

You could have heard a pin drop.  My seat mate had just showed me her kindle access on her iPhone.  I have written two blogs on the Demise of Print. We held our collective breath to hear the mistress of writing to hold forth on this topic.

"I am for reading in any manner that will allow for the magical world for stories to be read by the largest amount of readers.  What I am concerned about is the monopoly that Amazon created with the Kindle.  With the cost of a book down to $9.99, where is the revenue to support not just successful writers, but budding authors who need the advance to live on while they develop their next project and skill?  Where will the revenue come from to keep your independent book seller in business?"(paraphrased by the way)

I thought of all the wonderful books stores L.A. has lost in the last year.  Dutton's in Brentwood, Dutton's in North Hollywood, Book Soup and Skylight books are merging, and the only independent store left in my neighborhood is a rare book collector dealer with outrageous prices that I cannot afford.

I am as concerned as Ms. Kingsolver on the demise of a system that was perfected and efficient to nuture the budding talent hidden  within the vastness of the US.  Without the support and guidance and FUNDING to improve themselves via one advance after another what will stop the slide into mediocre literature?

My question now goes to Jeff Bezos of Amazon to ask him, how as a publisher, he intends to find, fund and nuture all those writers of passion and talent to continue creating the stories to entertain us.  Because in the end all any of us have that we most value are our stories!

The Rush for Private Schools

We are in the middle of "rushing" for private schools for D#2.  She is touring and viewing, we are calculating the costs and wondering how we will do it.  We will fill out reams of questions on application forms that will tell the administration everything about us short of a DNA map.

I find these "gauntlets" interesting as they are as discriminatory as they can be within an inch of the ethical and morals boundaries. And they all stand proud on their non-discriminatory philosophy. Bah!

Each private school forms it's own "tribes" with a uniform student body. They look for the commonalities that allow them to create insular worlds and for 30K per student per year to cater to the delusions parents have that their child is the next  "Bill Gates."  And if not, at least entrance into a top Ivy League school.

In Los Angeles there are 57, yes that's right 57, private schools that vie for a small percentage of students that qualify for entrance.

The private schools, funded in the past by tons of money from parents, allowed them to "overbuild." Every school had to offer it all in order to compete with each other.

That is exactly what has gotten them into trouble.  57 flavors of schools is NOT sustainable even in a large population center as Los Angeles.  Parents able to pay for a customized education that emphasized their values, morals and delusions about their kids, are rare and far between.

I think the schools are now the ones with delusions!  Offering to "mold" the students into perfect cookie cutters semblances of their parents expectations is ridiculous.  Children are as varied as their parents and only those with the gumption and determination make it in life.

If I am to find the perfect "tribe" for D#2 then I guess I need to look at the commonalities of culture. Wonder where I can find that school, seeped in reality, with a touch of low-cost.  That's my kind of tribe.

My response to Dr. Phil and the mommy wars

TV is about stories based on conflict.  Daytime TV is based on conflict, real or imagined, but mainly manufactured!

So Dr. Phil's show on moms vs moms has made blogging history as EVERYONE has an opinion. The debate centers around which was better: stay-at-home moms or working moms.  Can you imagine the call for blood on both sides?

This polarization of women makes my skin crawl. But then women have always been at each others throats over who has what. "Thank God the grass is always worse on the other side." they say under their breaths. 

This time out, I find this argument deeply troubling. OMG I need a glass of wine before I scream out to all these women - you are missing the point!

I mean really, how spoiled are we as American women?  Talk to your housekeeper if you want to see the no-choice woman in action.  Talk to the woman in a third world country who has NO options to work to put food on the table.Talk to the women of the world who know, deep inside, that womens work is work no matter where you stand in this debate.

I want to know why we women cannot take our tremendous talents and energies into focusing on our commonalities: children.  

Public schools are failing and need us to prod the state into making them the best in the world. Everyday, everywhere on our blogs, newsletters, letters to our gov't officials should reflect our deep concern for our children, not our resentment of each others life circumstances. 

The health care system for children is a horror story that getting worse.  Where are the mothers of America in making a big stink about this one? 

If American women (working or stay-at-home) have enough energy to complain, then I say take that energy and move it to complaining loudly about our schools and health care system!

In the words of Eunice Shriver to her daughter Maria, "Quit your gipping!"

Shut It Down - Part Two

They say humans learn through repetition. I think that nothing is learned between the ages of 14 and 20. Well after Friday night let's include the age range of 45 and 60 as well.

D#1 gave us the heads up she was driving to an "after party" held between 11PM and 2AM. As any parent knows, this raises alarm bells deep inside the belly of our bear selves. The expression "NO WAY-JOSE" leapt to our lips simultaneously. I immediately thought of the party we had had at our house. See blog "Shut it Down."

The discussion raged around the dinner table for a week. Father and D#1 made the decision that it was OK for her to drive home alone in the middle of the night. I dead stopped the idea as I was raised in LA and I KNOW the types of trouble the exist at 2AM. Thus sides were taken and the debate was on.

D#1 is exceptionally good at convincing her parents. "Mom," she says in all seriousness, "This is a private party, with tickets and a shuttle from the parking lot to the house. See, here is my ticket." I envision a well-organized transportation system similar to what we go through for non-profit events. The discussion raged on .....

One thing I am particularly good at is coming up with a solution in the middle of a heated argument. Training from my Telecom Corporate days created a "leadership under fire" set of skills and low and behold, they emerged fully engaged.

I suggested D#1 go concentrate on homework and while Hubby and I worked out our differences. I listened as Hubby gave his point of view and then let the silence fall. Silence is good as it lets the body calm down and the logical brain engage. It's one of my favorite techniques on getting Hubby to listen to me.

I committed to driving her myself if it meant staying up to all hours to make sure she was accompanied by an adult at 2AM. Hubby suggested I drop him off at the location of the after party and he would drive D#1 home.

"That's an even better idea, dude-man!" As I thought of my wonderful bed I would tumble into as soon as I got home around 1:30AM. And Hubby was once again my hero!

But - the best laid plans of mice and teenagers do go awry. This was no exception.

D#1 never made it to the after party. D#1 never made it as the traffic was so bad up Sunset Plaza and she couldn't find parking, kids were walking in the middle of the street saying "it's shut down," someone was vandalizing the parked cars and the neighbors were up in arms. 911 was called to help the passed-out-from-too-much-liquor girl. So once again the cry of "Shut It Down" was heard for miles.

"What does not kill you makes you stronger" says Friedrich Nietzsche. Any person will tell you that this is true. Especially when you are 16.

D#1 was pulled over twice by the cops as the car had a broken headlight. She handled it with honesty and aplomb. She drove carefully out of the crowded streets without mishap and drove home while her friend kept us updated with progress reports. That's my girl!

As we debriefed this morning, we wondered who was this parent that signed and paid for the party house? Who was in charge of the shuttles and parking? Why did they not figure out that 388 teenagers via FB, texting, etc. meant an average of 1000 kids showing up, tickets or no tickets. Why did they not think that liquor would flow, some teenager would be too inebriated to function and mayhem would ensue?

Well I think it's true - humans never learn, even between the ages of 45 to 60!

Mommy War and Peace: It's personal by Darrlye Pollack

Made the supreme mistake of watching a episode of Dr. Phil on the topic of working moms versus stay-at-home moms. The debate centered around which was better.  Can you imagine the call to arms for blood on both sides?

Here is a blog I thought said it so well.....

Can we please declare a moratorium on the mommy war?  The one where the mommies are fighting about whether to stay at home or work?  The war that's almost halfway to the Hundred Year's War?  Can someone please muzzle Dr. Phil and all the people who fan the flames?

Enough already.Most mommies don’t have a choice about fighting this war---they’re drafted.Even for those who have choices, it surprises me that today's mommies are so sure about where they stand.Because I could never choose a side. In fact that’s my point: that the most intense mommy war takes place not  BETWEEN mommies but INSIDE mommies. I had never yearned to be a mommy; had not a single domestic bone in my body; no stirrings when I saw a baby.In fact, what stirred in me was doubt. In my thirties the body clock ticked loudly enough to wake me up and the alarm went off and suddenly I was pregnant.

At the same time, I knew, deep in my soul, I was not meant to stay home.  So I hired a nanny before giving birth.

I fired her before she ever got started.

Because I was in love.

So began the  mommy war within myself.   Maybe it was due to my age---growing up with one foot in the fifties and one foot in feminism.  Or maybe just because I’m basically an indecisive person.
Fortunately (or unfortunately), thanks to other choices in husbands and career,  I had options, making me luckier than most women.

When my first baby was 3 months old, I took a writing job.   Only I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was.  After days of agonizing and soul searching, I backed out of the job and stayed home for months that turned into years.

By the time my second child was born 4 years later, I had switched sides.   I took business calls in my hospital room; and took my two-week old son to a business meeting, even nursing him there (hey, it’s Hollywood.)

Back and forth.  For years, the conflict continued on the battlefield of my brain.

Would it matter to them if I brought team snacks made at Costco rather than in our kitchen?  Would they be traumatized by the succession of babysitters who came through one year like a revolving door?  Would they feel cheated that someone else fed them milk and cookies after school or supervised homework?

Would I feel cheated being out of town when the first chicken pox appeared or a tooth fell out?  Was I wasting my time, my brain power and my education? And then the standard question-- what would I say when someone asked what I did at a cocktail party?

The easiest times---in terms of angst ---were when the choices were made for me.

During the time I was a single working mom,   I was so stressed and guilty, I forgot (more than once) to pick up the carpool.  At least I wasn’t as frazzled as another single mom who was so distracted in the carpool line, she drove her car into the wall of the school.

The internal mommy war grew particularly bitter when I was diagnosed with cancer.  I looked back--- and agonized over past choices.  Looking forward was no better---I didn’t think I would be around long enough to rebuild all the bridges I had broken.
To my readers:  I made
The war ends when the kids leave home---leaving, like in any war, the survivors--me and my two fully- functional adult children.  Also leaving me convinced that internal conflict is reflected in the conversation between mommies.

The truth is there is no right answer---for mommies as a group or even for an individual.  There is only the best answer for any person at any time.  Most mommies---whether they work or not---try their best and want the best on behalf of their kids---all the time.

Looking back, I wish I could have avoided the emotional whiplash that tormented me ---because  when you consider the costs of fighting, it's just like a real war---nobody wins.

Although maybe we deserve a Nobel peace prize for trying.

Darrlye Pollack

Demise of Print, Part 2

Previously on Innerwealthspeakers blog, I covered my love of books and absolute rebellion towards the e-book concept.  The gist was that the e-book will dominate the printed book and how sad it will be for those of us who love them. That is until someone turns off the electricity.


Electricity powers our ability to read e-books, use cell phone, computers, and any modern invention that somehow fuels our lives. Without it, life comes to a stand still. Remember the movie, "The Day the Earth Stood Still?" (version from the 50s) when the aliens shut off all electricity and mayhem ensued?

Electricity is the new gold.  Where once governments funded teams of adventurers to find natural resources of wood, water, gold, fertile land and cheap labor,  electricity is the new replacement as the "most precious commodity" on earth.  Now the solar/wind scientists are racing each other to increase our electrical output.

Reading is the first of skills that you need to function in the electro-literate world. The second is learning new commands and navigation of the electricity-fueld organization of information.   Every time I log on to a new web site, I have to learn a new software. AHHH.....it is fueling my resistance to change greater than my natural resistance to change.

The demise of print does not stop with books. Newspapers, magazines, reviews, brochures, flyers, pamphlets, leaflets, treatise, yellow and white phone book pages filled with names, numbers and addresses, are all becoming obsolete. So how do you know you exist?


Can you really count yourself among the citizens as bona fide because you are stored electronically somewhere?  Will you be able to vote just because you have a chip in your birth certificate or passport or neck?

Will an electronic profile a server somewhere produce the kind of outburst similar to Steve Martin's in "The Jerk?" While holding the white pages he starts jumping around yelling "I am somebody! I'm in the PHONE BOOK!"

I ponder these questions as I am the last generation that bridges the gap between fully electronic and paper-based for the verification of my existence.


I never battle my kids time spent on the computer as I know they are developing their "electronic literacy" that prepares them for a future of 100% electronically based information of all types.

But as for me, I plan on becoming the dinosaur of my generation, comfortably installed in my little house lined with books that I can read at any time, rain or shine, electric lamp or candlelight and without the need to push a button to create a deeply ingrained joy!

Hubby and the teenage girl thing

We have two daughters, aged 16 and 13.  You can imagine the amount "female" energy that flies around this house on a weekday evening. Hubby is in the minority.  There is Jake the cat, but he does not count much as a "guy" cat.


Teenage girls are a big mystery to everyone, but where this train goes off the tracks is Hubby thinks he has it down. They gleefully or brutally tell him he doesn't.

Homework:  Whenever one of them needs help with homework, they avoid him like the plague.

If D#2 asks him, he launches into a complicated course of self-study (that includes the internet)  while she waits for him to "get it." Twenty minutes later he is ready to answer said question with a history of information.

Lots of eye-rolling and frustrated arguments ensue which end up with D#2 slamming bedroom door and husband coming to me to ask for "a little backup here."

Personal looks:  Hubby has a great eye for hair and makeup and dress.  Training on these matters was acquired during his tenure as a director in Hollywood for oh say... 2 movies. When he comments on my hair, dress, looks, I'm good with it as I must concede that the man has great taste and dresses me well.

But he doesn't quite get the tinderbox of emotions (associated with looks) that sits just below the surface of teenagers.

He commented on D#2's hair twice in two weeks.  First comment was delivered with his glasses off his face and positioned two inches from D#2, "What color did you die your hair?  It's too dark." The wailing was so loud, my neighbor called to see what was wrong.

The second comment was delivered from 5 feet across the dinner table and eyes in a squinting mode. "D#2, you need a hair cut.  Your hair needs better styling."  D#1 jumped to her sister's defense by pummeling her father verbally ( I must admit it was a good pummel).  But too late, the damage was done.  D#2 objected loudly at first and then swiftly walked to her bedroom and slammed the door.  

He tried a retraction (he is in PR and thought it could work) but that went nowhere.  Pretty funny to watch a 6 ft guy speaking to a slammed angry door, trying to appease D#2.

Car sharing:  D#1 drives.  She drives Hubby's car as it is a tank.  But now she and Hubby are negotiating, er battling it out, on who gets the car when.  D#1 feels it's hers to use as she pleases over the weekend.

Interesting conversations that sounds a bit like this:

D#1: Dad, Friday night, car.
H:  Where are you going?
D#1:  With friends

H: How are you paying for gas?
D#1: OMG you want me to do well in school to get into a good college so I have to study every night of the week with no time to have a job so I can pay for my own gas? This is a joke, right?
H: Well you need to spend some money on gas, kiddo.
D#1: I can't.  I have to buy an outfit for the night.  Remember, you guys don't buy my clothes any more.

And on and on it goes until he relents and he is excusing himself from weekend golf games so she can have the car.

We have had discussions about his thinking towards the D#1 & D#2, but I prefer not to upset that apple cart too much.  The girls need to know how to argue with a man and WIN.  Makes them fearless for the future.

Gosh I do love my family - better than TV.

Habitat for Humanity Walk

Today I did something unusual for me - I contributed my time and effort to help raise money for Habitat for Humanity, San Fernando Valley/Santa Clarita Valley.

I signed up less than a week before the event and via the social sites I belong to, managed to help raise a whopping $100.00.  My little bit in the bucket contributed to buying - say - a package of nails.  I like that idea very much.

I had a client who produced 'fasteners.' Fasteners are the itty-bitty screws that hold an airplane together.  I mean they really do hold an airplane together.  If you don't believe me, look out your window, next time you are on a plane and start counting those little suckers.  There are approximately 8,000 fasteners per airplane.

Nails hold a house together. And when a house is held together, a family can hold together.  When the house is well-built, as these are, then the family has a chance to grow inside it's sturdy walls and flourish.

So I like very much the idea that walking 5 kilometers and raising $100.00 will help buy a box of nails that will hold a family together.

Demise of Print!

"See how light it is," says my friend Randy B.  "Just settle on the couch and you'll see it's lighter than a book. It's so easy to see the text on the screen and you push this button to move forward, this button to move up or down and this one for backwards!"  Randy is very proud of her Kindle.  It's changed her life when it comes to reading.

I thought about how a Kindle would better my reading life.  I think it would not. Why?  Well for starters, I'm a bit sick of all the button pushing that goes on in my life these days. 

And second....I love books.

I love the smell of a new book.  Some women like the smell of new shoes, but me, I like the smell of ink drying on paper.  I love bookstores.  I love wandering in bookstores,  getting lost in picture books and magazines.  I love perusing the pages of a book with an interesting cover only to discover that I am falling into the story as quickly as Harry Potter falls into the pensive.  My brain goes to zen in 6 seconds flat.

Upon exiting the book store with the new purchases under my arm, I am impatient to go home to pop some corn, grab the cat and settle down to read.  I can't wait to live in the world of the story.

At times I am so enthralled with a 'page turner' that I don't even hear my name called unless the person is two inches from my ear  - at full volume. That happened a lot in 8th grade algebra.


I guard my collection of signed first edition in a locked glass cabinet.  I STOOD IN LINE for those signatures! I had a brush with genius and walked away with a snippet of conversation and being able to say, "I met her at a book fair.  Great author!" Some signed books (by dead authors) are currently priced at $5,000.  Yes, $5,000 for a signed copy of "Riders of the Purple Sage," by Zane Grey, one of my favorites.


So the Kindle got me to thinking.  How does an author "sign" a downloaded version of their book? How does a collector collect "e-books" from favorite authors?  And how do you sell an "e-signed, e-book on eBay?"


I will grieve profoundly the day books go the way of gas-guzzlers. But for now I will continue wander the last book stores, smell the drying ink and plot my attendance at book fairs.

New Blog going up tomorrow. Stay tuned. "The Demise of Print" http://ping.fm/XeDnq

Turmeric Powder and a Little Subversion

My daughters are allergic to anything "mom" says or tries to impose when it comes to their health.  So the idea of taking vitamins, eating more fruits and veggies and laying off MY coffee in the morning is met with a resounding "NO!"  Feels like the terrible two's all over again. 

Subversion is the only tool left to me to insure their continued health. 

D#2 has decided not to take her asthma medicine.  "Ok," I say.  "Where are your inhalers?" Why-are-you-bothering-me roll of the eyes tells me she has no clue.  So I crush the pink pill and sprinkle it over a cup of "froyo," which she eats without an ounce of suspicion. 

D#1 has a great immune system.  All that breast-feeding really paid off.  But think she'd take calcium supplements to boost her bone strength? The eye rolling happens here too.  I bought good-tasting Tums - stuck them on her computer with a note stating that her password was changed and the consuming of 2 tabs a day will keep the computer humming in her hands.  Worked like a charm!

But the Hubby, he's another issue.  He's leery of anything promoted by his wife as "good for your health." He rarely gets sick except if he's been on a plane.  Then he is miserable with sneezing and coughing all over the house. 

I shared my frustration-Husband syndrome with a friend of mine from India.  Samir Doshi, of Telecomers, mentioned they use Turmeric powder as an anti-septic.  "How does it taste?" I ask.  My mind is busy flashing pictures of me sitting on the Husband whilst pouring this powder directly into his mouth.  "Of nothing," he replied.  "It just turns the food a bit yellow." 

Yellow?  I can do yellow!  I rushed off to the market, bought some turmeric powder, yellow squash, tomatoes and made a ratatouille.  I liberally sprinkled the Turmeric on the squash before drenching everything in garlic, caramelized onions and olive oil. 

I served the dish on a decorative platter and made it look FANTASTIC, key to getting the family to eat new dishes.  They ate it up and suggested we have this dish more often! 

Gosh, I love subversion. 

Socks

I have been running around barefoot all summer long. I love barefoot as I can really feel dirt or grass or carpet between my toes. I love walking from a warm carpet to a cool kitchen floor on a hot summer's day. And most of all, I love digging my toes in the sand while sitting on the beach, watching the family surf the waves.

So when I recently put on a pair of socks for the first time in 4 months, I was pleasantly surprised at how wonderful they felt. I mean really surprised. They were soft and warm and cushiony in my gardening shoes. Ohhhh...... how sweet it is.

My daughter #2 knows the sweetness of socks. Last winter she posted a sign on the refrigerator door. To it was pinned one gray sock with the following message:

"Lost Sock. Please help me find this sock. Reward, $6.79. Very important sock. My feet are cold."

I went to my chiropractor, Dr. Dana Zappala (drdanazappala.com) today for an adjustment. I noticed she was wearing Uggs. Now mind you, it is 89 degrees outside and Los Angeles is headed for another Santa Ana dry hot wind with temps spiking up to 101 degrees.

Why the Uggs, I ask? Apparently her home was fogged in this morning and she was chilled. She wanted to feel snuggly and cozy and warm up her bones. It threw us both into "wanting winter" so we spoke about oncoming winter fog, cold winds and socks.

Her eyes lite up and she said, pointing to her Uggs, "I am wearing socks and it feel sooooo good!" She knows the sweetness of socks.

With winter coming on, I decided to match up all the irregulars in my drawers. Had 26 socks and only got to six full pairs. Well I guess the washing machine and dryer also know the sweetness of socks.

By the way, D#2 found the sock herself and kept her reward.

A Viking Perspective.

It all a matter of perspective. A point of view is completely influenced by the sum total of all personal experiences. A communications professor once explained it this way - everything you have every said and done has lead you to this exact moment in time.

Knowing that all medicine is influenced by that same concept, I listen to my French cousin Claude while he describes unimaginable pain while walking. He tells me he can't walk more than 300 feet before needing a wheelchair or electric cart.

This is not my cousin. For all the years I have known him, he never sits still. He is always on the go; dancing (his big love), traveling, surfing, and walking all over Paris. There are many other physical feats of wonder and he is a man who lives to the fullest. To be relegated to a wheelchair is a cruel joke on such a lively man.

But see this is where the matter of perspective takes over. His diagnosis, delivered by a French Doctor, in a French hospital was simply this: Vikings!

His type hip degeneration was only seen before in the descendants of the Vikings.

If you read the previous posts, you will immediately know that this is not possible. The antecedents of the Michel clan are strictly French, Dutch and German. Not Viking. So why the declaration of a most nebulous genetic history on the part of a French Doctor?

Sum total of everything ever experienced or said by this French Doctor! A point of view influenced by the very geographical location of this French Dr.

In the US, it would have been blamed (yes we Americans love to blame) on sports. In China, blocked chi or heat or cold or bad feng shui.

Now let's give this French doctor a break, shall we? He is limited by his lack of exposure of people from around the world, from many different tribes, with a variety of aliments "never before seen, except in the case of..."

This got me thinking about perspective, point of view and the influences on our lives via exposure to that which we know nothing about.

More about this in the next post.

Family Follow Up...

Our family reunion left us all with the feeling of new found friends. But the key to really continuing the connection is follow up. Reaching out to each other and sharing our daily lives.

In times gone by, pre-email, there was letter writing. A lot of letter writing. In fact, entire biographies of famous-once-they're-dead people have been written solely on the basis of their letters to friends, family and business associates. They are often referred to as "treasure troves."

Communication with other humans, distant and near, is a biological need. I think it's a DNA driven activity that is fourth in line after breathing, drinking and eating. Before sex, before safety, before being warm. I think once paper became common and writing ubiquitous, letter writing became the de facto medium to communicate.

Email is my medium and Facebook makes it easy. To keep in touch. To follow up. To make friends.

So I thought I would share with you some of the emails going back and forth between my newly discovered Belgian cousins and myself. I have deliberately left the misspellings in place as they would be in a written letter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From NR after seeing the pictures of the fires in Los Angeles:

Waow, that's some smoke you have over there. Not too hard to breath, even with the Jackson mask on? (I had mentioned how I wore a mask a la Michael Jackson when driving around) How is Gabby doing now that she is back?
Did you take pictures of the fires at night? I've only seen the aftermath of these fires and even, I think I can't imagine how it feels to watch it all burn. I'm glad you're safe...

Here it was the first day of school and everybody is back to work. Welcome back traffic and bad weather!! Yesterday it was nice and hot, today it's raining raining raining. Sometimes I think I would prefer fires and earthquakes over the previsibility of our weather!

One of my collegue will be shortly leaving the center and I'll miss him, cause he makes me laugh! Never enough laughter, I'll say! And tomorrow I'll have to call my ex boyfriend for a work question. I haven't talked to him since we've split in november so that's gonna be weird.

and that's the brussels 's report!

N
~~~~~~~~~~
My reply:

The fires are across the Valley from us. We are covered in smoke and have had to keep the doors and windows closed for three days. The news says we have approx. 2 weeks more of fire as they cannot control it. And it should burn! No one let the natural fires burn off this dry bushes for 60 years!

Luckily, G is away for the weekend with her friend Madelaine and not breathing smoke. She has asthma!

At night we can count the different areas on fire by watching the flames. It is beautiful and shows nature's power. Reminds me that we are all here temporarily.

As always California is a land of extremes. I am sure our winter will be filled with torrential rains and earthquakes. Isn't this place fun to live?

Voila le report de California. Bis a toi. Laurelle

Shut it Down!!

"Shut it Down" is the familiar call by so many parents this summer. Every one I spoke to has a similar story about their teenager and a party. Let me state that I delight being around my 16-year old teenager. She clears her dinner plate, does her own laundry and talks to us more than most. I am lucky.

Except when it comes to parties. Summer parties. Facebook, twitter, text-fueled guest-list party. The kind of parties that are not normal, unreal and out of control.

She wanted to throw a party. For "as many as possible, mom".

Apparently the new standard for a party is "as many as possible," otherwise it's "so gay". Aside from the heated discussion of "so gay" is NOT OK, daughter #1 was mad we limited her party to 40 people and no facebook invites, no strangers and no text guests. She.... was... pissed.

Well - 90 people showed up. All from the texting, texting, and more texting by each and every kid who showed up, walked in and thought WOW, this is happening.

Hubby and I did a walk through to make sure all was well. OMG!! Kids were everywhere!

There were kids smoking in the back patio up against a hill full of dry brush! Some were in the trees and jammed in the den dancing to the music. My husband found a fifth of VODKA in the bushes and I discovered a young couple "making out" in the ONE bathroom while the rest of the kids pounded on the door to be let in!

And that is just a few of things that happened. I am editing so I don't loose your interest.

We shut the party down. Called the parents of a drunk girl and chased the kids off our land and the neighborhood. This party lasted all of 2 hours.

The next day it was discovered that the bouncer made off with ALL the money. Thus the DJ was not paid and I was not reimbursed for what I laid out.

Then I heard about my friend Robert's experience. His son threw a party for 100 people. No problem, plenty of room at his house to accommodate the crowd. Within 1.5 hours Robert called the POLICE on HIMSELF. They swooped in with helicopters and cruisers. The estimate was 3,000 people on-premise and within the vicinity of his house. 3,000 people!!!

The bouncer, true to the nature of the business, was busy taking the agreed $5.00 contribution for those on the list. But he collected $25.00 per non-listed kid through the side gate. This enterprising bouncer pocketed each and every $25.00 "contribution."

One party got out of hand within an hour. Neighbors called the parents, who were not home, to "come home quick." The father got out of his car, calmly cut off the music and grabbed his bullhorn and began "evacuating" his house of full of strangers. He got resistance from the 17-year old boys. They asked, "Who in the H**L are YOU?"

One grandmother, allowing her house to be used for a party, was seen chasing a girl around the pool to grab the bottle of liquor out of her hands. Party shut down within 1.5 hours.

So I wonder about the "why" of it all. Why the need to throw such big parties each and every time? I have come up up with this theory: It's all the parents fault.

We all threw them elaborate birthday parties for each and every year of their precious lives. Disney characters, bouncies and making sure to invite entire classrooms of preschoolers or 3 classrooms of elementary age (or god forbid should one child get their feelings hurt,) peers. Huge party favors that cost more than the gifts received with the venues being more expensive and elaborate each year. Do you blame our over indulged teenagers?

Well I don't, so here is my mea culpa!

The Visit

My cousins from Belgium were here for a visit. The two of them are on the far left of the photo. They did research and were able to find my cousin Claude in France. He connnected us and they decided to come to California for a visit. It was wonderful.

We discovered similarities that were startling. The same family message, personalities of blood relatives and no knowledge of each other's existence.

We discussed the two secrets that shaped the family and their off-spring for 3 generations. As my Belgian cousins and I are of the fourth generation, we have all made a conscience choice of shedding these secrets in order to move forward. As my children are the 5th generation, the secrets are laughed at and met with "you're kidding, right?" They no longer hold power over them.

These secrets, I now understand, are what prompted my father to leave his beloved France and come the U.S. to be able to REDEFINE himself. But he was really unable to achieve that end. His personal freedom was always just beyond his reach. (another blog on that later)

The secrets were of their time, of the European culture. The events had shattering results on the focus of each sibling of the Michel Family.

The first secret: The family fortune was gambled away. They were known as upper class, quite wealthy, and traveled by a private TRAIN to transport them from city to city. Think private airplane in today's world.

All six children were in University, grand houses were owned and servants to care for their worldly needs. The uncle in charge of the family fortune loves to gamble and loses it ALL gambling! ALL... Every red cent.... university studies interrupted, houses and property sold, no more private trains, and a loss of social stature. The shame of being poor invades their psyches and creates a hungry, unrelenting desire to recapture this lost fortune. It creates siblings with strong controlling personalities to rule over their spouses and children to drive them to back to wealth.

The nature of the fortune is unconfirmed but the diamond trade is suspect as they had homes in Antwerp and Brussels. Which leads us to the second secret: they were Jewish.

Jewish? The need to hide this fact was the way life was lived in the late 19th early 20th century in Europe. Secrets weild power and eventual destruction of it's keepers. In this case, it created a horrible scism between two of the brothers that ended in the suicide of one on the birthday of the other.

The siblings began to marry into the Catholic community. One brother opened a funeral home (still operating), one brother began a theater troop and bought and sold Belgian lace, one sister took care of the aging parents, another sister (my grandmother) married a super intelligent liberal. Two brothers immigrated to France. One of whom gave birth to a ner'do'well who would abandon two wives and three children. And one just disappeared off the face of the earth.

The call of the family was "never gamble". My father was very clear on the need for low risk investment of his money. Don't buy real estate, not a good investment. Take forever to decide on the risk factor of how you use your money, etc. etc. etc. you get the picture. He never, ever shared the fact we were of Jewish descent until I turned 34.

My father had regular correspondence with his uncle and cousins. My aunt visited with
these same cousins in the south of France, where one owned a home. BUT....

MY FATHER NEVER LET THEM KNOW HE HAD A FAMILY OF THREE DAUGHTERS.

Funny enough, my cousins parents never let them know we existed. Just a passing reference to an cousin (meaning my father) who lived in the U.S.

So these many years later, here we are. Geting to know each other, laughing and comparing notes. There is more to write about, so stay tuned.

Skyping with Family

Michele and Nathalie (from Brussels) did all the genealogy research and found my cousin Claude in Versailles, France. He, in turn, sent them my information way out here in Los Angeles, Ca. USA.

During their visit here we planned to Skype to cousin Claude in France. They are both only daughters, Claude is an only child, and we are an isolated branch of the family in LA. Thus the motivation to meet and bond and compare notes.

We planned the Skype hour to "reach out and touch" each other across the globe.

But before I get too enthused about the whole Skype deal, I remember that every time I try to Skype with visual, something goes wrong. The picture is fuzzy, the delays monumental and the dropped calls frequent to the point we give up and switch to ATT voice.

Those calls always remind me of the scene in the movie "Mother" by Al Brooks. They are using the first generation of a "picture phone." She can't seem to "stay in the picture" and the other end keeps telling her to go right and left, which of course is reversed. Hysterical scene that could only have been plucked from the wild imagination of Al Brooks. And now reality catches up with fantasy!

Claude is on my MAC screen, but I can't hear him. He can hear me, but can't see me. We go back and forth for some moments then just hang up. Claude calls me with France Telecom and bingo! no problem. We hear him loud and clear.

But it's a bad day for Claude. As his hips are degenerating he is in pain. His Dr. has let him know that his particular form of hip problem is normally only seen in the descendants of the Vikings! So he is no longer Jewish, but a Viking.

And I thought only LA was filled with re-inventors.

Stay tuned.......

Texting with the Belgian Cousins

Michelle and Nathalie are progressing down the California coastline. We are keeping in touch via a "go phone" they purchased on arrival at San Fran airport. What we discovered is texting is far easier than trying to talk to each other.

They are in a relaxed, zen state due to their Belgian gov't policy of 5 weeks a year vacation. So they are meandering down Highway 1, hitting Monterey, Santa Cruz and Carmel. Time is not of the essence.

I, on the other hand, am caught up with D#1 and D#2. Both have colds with sore throats, grumpiness and expectations that I will wait on them hand and foot. Of course, once they are well my roll will be relegated back to chauffeur and ATM.

So texting is the way to go. As I was reviewing the thread, it occurred to me that I was texting in French (very eroded skills) and they are using English. The thread was pretty funny, so I decided to transcript it letter for letter so we can all see why foreign language skills are so key to that which gives our lives meaning.

Me: Pt. Lobos State Reserve. Juste sud de Carmel sur la route 1. Highway 1. Bonne journee. ( second line means: just south of Carmel.)

Them: "C'est la que je voulais aller justememt! Bonne journee et merci!" Translation: that is were a was intending to go. Good day and thanks.

Me: "Demande la ville comment suivre la route "1". I'll y a des carts pars toutes." Translation: ask the town how to follow route 1. I"ll there are postcards in all parts.

Me: "I meant to write "maps". Try the visitors bureau in carmel or any hotel."

Them: "We already have maps, no trouble to get to point lobos."

Them: "We're watching the birds fly Pt. Lobos over the sea. We're having a great day."
(That's a first!)

M: "Supere. It's so beautiful!" Translation: super dad.

Them: "Still hot weather in LA?"

Me: "La temperature va etre tres chaud. Vers les 94C. Translation: The temperature will be very hot. Around 201 degrees!"

Did I mention that Michelle is a French grammar teacher?

Can't hear myself think!

I never thought of my house as a party house. Neither does my husband. We like to have friends over for dinner al fresco, and an early bedtime. But it seems we have bred a "event planner".

Seems our D#1 is the "go to" person for throwing her friends a party. Be it a kickback or birthday bash, she seems to be the one who organizes it. So here I am, on a Saturday night, sitting on my bed, blogging with EAR PLUGS as D#1 has thrown another party.

Last time she threw a "little party" the list included 60 people and a facebook rsvp. We said NO! She fought a valiant fight and sulked for days after agreeing to only 40 even though "that is so lame." Then 60 showed up! Seems texting is the new invite.

She was overwhelmed and then swung into action. She got tough with those she did not know and asked them to leave. She confiscated the sneake-in beer and got us to patrol the driveway for the "unwanted texting crashers."

She learned her lesson. She agreed the plan was faulty.

This time we held firm on 40. She agreed with little fuss. D#1 got her friends to agree NOT to text about the party, 4 guy friends agreed to play bouncers and everyone donated to the kitty for food and drink.

So my house is turned upsidedown one more time. All the furniture has been moved out of the den and signs posted everywhere stating NO SMOKING or you PAY A FINE. The DJ has the music throbbing and playing the all sorts of weird tunes. I hear them dancing and hooting and hollaring.

Did I mention when the MJ tune Billie Jean played I danced in my room and shook my tired old booty as virgously as I used to as "Queen of the Disco!" I ain't dead yet.

Thanks D#1 for the fun. I can sleep when I'm dead.

Belgium Cousins

Just got a call from Michelle and Nathalie. They arrived in San Francisco safe and sound, are sleepy and looking for a great restaurant to eat at. Any suggestions?

Dinner - What's it going to be tonight?

A new mother and friend sent me this question. I thought I would post the answer.

Since you've been so great about offering sanity....a practical question:

How often did you hit the store when your girls were little? And far in advance did you plan menus?

I'd like to plan a week out. But I wonder if that's not smart when it comes to meat and produce.

And yes, I could take the kids with me to the store, have already done that. But it's so easy to run up a bill that way, and I'm watching my pennies after six months of my folks living with me.

Write back whenev....

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you can solve the "How to shop with two small kids and keep your sanity" issue you will make a fortune. There are pages & pages of "quick and easy shopping tips," from every woman who found herself in the same situation. There are blogs, magazines, radio shows, TV shows devoted to the topic and insane asylums filled with perfectionist moms who failed."

If you go through the KCRW "Good Food" archives (use my name as keyword) you will find the segment I did on "rip n' pour". The best of packaged/frozen food for next to nothing.

I tried to plan, but something always got in the way. So I decided to have some staples on hand at all times to be able to "throw something" together.

I kept soups and thick french/rustic/paisano bread. If I could not get to anything else kids got soup and bread. Rich thick soups with a handful of rice thrown in. In addition, I picked up roast chickens. I would buy two and eat the second one cold or cut it up in the soup or throw some in a salad. Kids loved it.

Veggies are great fresh in the summer, but winter means frozen fresh. Most time I put all them in soups so no one can identify the "yucky" stuff.

To control costs try and find the smaller stores that don't buy prepackaged fresh fruit and veggies. The food is priced for less, ripe, thus ready to eat.

Price difference:

Whole Foods avocados were hard as rocks: $5.99 a pound
Olive Fresh Garden Market: ripe, ready to eat, $2.99 a pound.

You can't be all things to all people and cooking is always optional. Remember Julia Child did not have children!

Laurelle

FOUND FAMILY!!!

My family has found me. They found me through concerted effort, followed the ramblings of a senile grandmother and located my 1st cousin in Paris who then let them know about the "american" cousins in Los Angeles.

Michelle and Nathalie (mother and daughter respectively) are only children and direct descendants of my grandmother's younger brother. Got that? My grandmother was born in 1878 and gave birth to my father in 1907. Herman, the younger brother, was born in 1887 , daughter Giselle was born in 1925, gave birth to Michelle in 1953. I can give you the ages of all other descendants and a trend emerges: no one gives birth early in life. Remember that in the 1900's women gave birth multiple times by age 20. My grandmother was 29! Giselle was 28! My father was 45, 47 and 50. I was 38.5 and 41.75 respectively with my two girls.

We are adventurous at heart and deed, intensely curious about all aspects of life and great travelers.

I have never met them, they have never met me. So meeting family who are perfect strangers will be a new adventure for me and them. They are staying with friends of mine who have graciously agreed to host them. I am throwing a dinner with friends who knew my father and my family while growing up in LA. The French Chef I hired for the occasion is an old family friend who knew us quite well.

So stay posted as I will be blogging on the experience and discovery of common traits, mannerisms, etc. We already look alike to the rest will be up for exploration.

Laurelle

I Need a JetBlue Weekend from my Weekend!

My two daughters had enough drama between them in the space of 24 hours that I thought I was going to run away. 

 Daughter #2 had a meltdown 'cause she hated her outfit and didn't want to go to the B-Day party. The real reason was she was hungry, but do you think she would eat what I offered her? Nooooo...... She decided not to go to the party, but after eating her dinner, while my husband and I are eating OUR dinner, she pops in (with the same outfit she had the meltdown over) and asked if we could take her to the party after all. 2 hours late - 

 The D#1 was asked to cover for her friend (who snuck out of the sleep over to egg houses with two boys, 16!) thus prompting a call from the mom to ME thanking me for "hosting her daughter". So the conversation was a bit confusing as the other mom was ready to rip my head off as she thought I was in charge of the sleepover. I was not in charge of anything except a crying D#2.

 See next paragraph.

 THEN - it turns out a mom read her daughter's diary to ANOTHER MOM, thus prompting massive humiliation on the part of every kid named in the diary! So once again D#2 was crying her eyes out, feeling betrayed, and I had to control my urge to throttle said mom.  

THIS WAS JUST FRIDAY NIGHT!  

Saturday afternoon then rolls around:  D#1 slept through the time she supposed to be at surprise party and when i tried to wake her - she lashed out and called me a name! At least she apologized.  D#2 wanted to go to the movies with her friend, but doesn't want to have dinner with her. How do you do this, I wonder, as the show is at 7PM? She changes her mind and then doesn't want to go out with her friend at all. But then pesters ME on "what to say?" I say, "Tell the truth". She says that NEVER WORKS.

OMG - give me a cup of calming tea or I am running away on JetBlue. 

My Think Tank moments.

I am in dire need of a morning in the garden to myself to think about what I need to think about. It's the way I sort items out. Those items that require less immediate action and a thought or two about how to go about the action. What will it do for my business, costs involved; time and money, how will this affect my my life, and etc. etc. etc.

The joy of the garden is to do a physical activity with a visible result while doing something that has no physical manifestation of the action: thinking!

On the list to think about how America just loves its drama. Why are we so into drama of the human being? Why do we love to scare ourselves? Why do we resist change, yet change at such a rapid rate that we can't keep up! The right wing is worried about the left wing and the left wing is worried about the right wing. Well two wings, working together mean flight is possible. So why are they not flying together. Means it just one grounded bird.

You get the idea....

So off to the garden I go in the morning to pull ivy off the hillside and think about what I need to think about.

And you? What do you think about?

Laurelle Rises to the Top Once Again!

Laurelle Johnson is
“Entrepreneur Mother Of The Year”

Los Angeles (April 14, 2009) - Laurelle Johnson will be honored as “Entrepreneur Mother of the Year” by Working Mother magazine at a ceremony in New York on May 8. “The Working Mothers of the Year are extraordinary moms who adeptly balance career, motherhood and self development with grace and determination,” says the magazine. Laurelle joins a select group ranging from high-powered executives to the First Lady of the United States.

Laurelle balances being mother of two teenage daughters with a business helping entrepreneurial women prepare to present their companies to angel and venture capital investors.

Women are terrified to ask for funding. Knowing what to say and how to say it is key to gaining interest in their products and services. Laurelle’s business experience both at high corporate levels and as entrepreneur, puts her in an ideal position to craft messages that bridge the communication gap between women-owned businesses and male investors.

With her help, women entrepreneurs have raised over $1.5 million in financing.

Her workbook “Is Your Elevator Speech Taking Your Business To The Top Floor,” takes women through a process that helps them present their core message succinctly to potential investors. The workbook costs $17.00. Order it here. [this is a link to your order page]

Read Laurelle’s profile in Working Mother magazine here. http://tinyurl.com/wmlaurelle

Houses are selling

Hubby and I went out for a Sunday drive in and around the Pacific Palisades in California. The Palisades is known for beautiful houses, great neighborhoods and a long history of executives and movie moguls in residence.
This Sunday we counted over 25 open houses. We stopped by one house, asked a couple of questions and was surprised at the answers.

Houses were selling! He had 45 listings, sold 128 so far this "season" and was flipping the open house. What gives?

Mark let me in on the "new" way to buy a house: 30-40% down payment, smaller banks are lending money on stated income and the prices have dropped. The neighborhoods with activity were the usual places that are safe, upscale and close to commercial centers.

Seems there are those out there with the cash, ready to pounce and slowly, if the government doesn't get in the way , we just might have a free market recovery.