They say humans learn through repetition. I think that nothing is learned between the ages of 14 and 20. Well after Friday night let's include the age range of 45 and 60 as well.
D#1 gave us the heads up she was driving to an "after party" held between 11PM and 2AM. As any parent knows, this raises alarm bells deep inside the belly of our bear selves. The expression "NO WAY-JOSE" leapt to our lips simultaneously. I immediately thought of the party we had had at our house. See blog "Shut it Down."
The discussion raged around the dinner table for a week. Father and D#1 made the decision that it was OK for her to drive home alone in the middle of the night. I dead stopped the idea as I was raised in LA and I KNOW the types of trouble the exist at 2AM. Thus sides were taken and the debate was on.
D#1 is exceptionally good at convincing her parents. "Mom," she says in all seriousness, "This is a private party, with tickets and a shuttle from the parking lot to the house. See, here is my ticket." I envision a well-organized transportation system similar to what we go through for non-profit events. The discussion raged on .....
One thing I am particularly good at is coming up with a solution in the middle of a heated argument. Training from my Telecom Corporate days created a "leadership under fire" set of skills and low and behold, they emerged fully engaged.
I suggested D#1 go concentrate on homework and while Hubby and I worked out our differences. I listened as Hubby gave his point of view and then let the silence fall. Silence is good as it lets the body calm down and the logical brain engage. It's one of my favorite techniques on getting Hubby to listen to me.
I committed to driving her myself if it meant staying up to all hours to make sure she was accompanied by an adult at 2AM. Hubby suggested I drop him off at the location of the after party and he would drive D#1 home.
"That's an even better idea, dude-man!" As I thought of my wonderful bed I would tumble into as soon as I got home around 1:30AM. And Hubby was once again my hero!
But - the best laid plans of mice and teenagers do go awry. This was no exception.
D#1 never made it to the after party. D#1 never made it as the traffic was so bad up Sunset Plaza and she couldn't find parking, kids were walking in the middle of the street saying "it's shut down," someone was vandalizing the parked cars and the neighbors were up in arms. 911 was called to help the passed-out-from-too-much-liquor girl. So once again the cry of "Shut It Down" was heard for miles.
"What does not kill you makes you stronger" says Friedrich Nietzsche. Any person will tell you that this is true. Especially when you are 16.
D#1 was pulled over twice by the cops as the car had a broken headlight. She handled it with honesty and aplomb. She drove carefully out of the crowded streets without mishap and drove home while her friend kept us updated with progress reports. That's my girl!
As we debriefed this morning, we wondered who was this parent that signed and paid for the party house? Who was in charge of the shuttles and parking? Why did they not figure out that 388 teenagers via FB, texting, etc. meant an average of 1000 kids showing up, tickets or no tickets. Why did they not think that liquor would flow, some teenager would be too inebriated to function and mayhem would ensue?
Well I think it's true - humans never learn, even between the ages of 45 to 60!
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