We have two daughters, aged 16 and 13. You can imagine the amount "female" energy that flies around this house on a weekday evening. Hubby is in the minority. There is Jake the cat, but he does not count much as a "guy" cat.
Teenage girls are a big mystery to everyone, but where this train goes off the tracks is Hubby thinks he has it down. They gleefully or brutally tell him he doesn't.
Homework: Whenever one of them needs help with homework, they avoid him like the plague.
If D#2 asks him, he launches into a complicated course of self-study (that includes the internet) while she waits for him to "get it." Twenty minutes later he is ready to answer said question with a history of information.
Lots of eye-rolling and frustrated arguments ensue which end up with D#2 slamming bedroom door and husband coming to me to ask for "a little backup here."
Personal looks: Hubby has a great eye for hair and makeup and dress. Training on these matters was acquired during his tenure as a director in Hollywood for oh say... 2 movies. When he comments on my hair, dress, looks, I'm good with it as I must concede that the man has great taste and dresses me well.
But he doesn't quite get the tinderbox of emotions (associated with looks) that sits just below the surface of teenagers.
He commented on D#2's hair twice in two weeks. First comment was delivered with his glasses off his face and positioned two inches from D#2, "What color did you die your hair? It's too dark." The wailing was so loud, my neighbor called to see what was wrong.
The second comment was delivered from 5 feet across the dinner table and eyes in a squinting mode. "D#2, you need a hair cut. Your hair needs better styling." D#1 jumped to her sister's defense by pummeling her father verbally ( I must admit it was a good pummel). But too late, the damage was done. D#2 objected loudly at first and then swiftly walked to her bedroom and slammed the door.
He tried a retraction (he is in PR and thought it could work) but that went nowhere. Pretty funny to watch a 6 ft guy speaking to a slammed angry door, trying to appease D#2.
Car sharing: D#1 drives. She drives Hubby's car as it is a tank. But now she and Hubby are negotiating, er battling it out, on who gets the car when. D#1 feels it's hers to use as she pleases over the weekend.
Interesting conversations that sounds a bit like this:
D#1: Dad, Friday night, car.
H: Where are you going?
D#1: With friends
H: How are you paying for gas?
D#1: OMG you want me to do well in school to get into a good college so I have to study every night of the week with no time to have a job so I can pay for my own gas? This is a joke, right?
H: Well you need to spend some money on gas, kiddo.
D#1: I can't. I have to buy an outfit for the night. Remember, you guys don't buy my clothes any more.
And on and on it goes until he relents and he is excusing himself from weekend golf games so she can have the car.
We have had discussions about his thinking towards the D#1 & D#2, but I prefer not to upset that apple cart too much. The girls need to know how to argue with a man and WIN. Makes them fearless for the future.
Gosh I do love my family - better than TV.
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5 comments:
great stuff. how long has hubby been interacting with women? and he still makes iffy comments on appearances?
Thumbs up for hubby, communicating and learning and teaching at the same time. And thumbs up to you for picking up the pieces of hubby, once your daughters have sharpened their arguments on him. And, here a message to your daughters: you're lucky to have such terrific parents!
Hubby is great with women and he is an honest man!
What an insight you provided in your note about the interactions between your daughters and their father. As a child of divorce (I was 9 when they separated), I saw my dad once a week during my teens, until he moved out of state when I was 16. I hardly remember any of those kinds of conversations with my dad. We didn't have the daily interactions like that. I don't think I learned, like your daughters, how to have arguments with men. In fact, I can't stand when my husband is mad at me. It makes me so upset!!! I have a hard time handling it (it's not a frequent occurrence, but when it happens, my world turns upside down and I feel constant stress). And I very rarely get mad at him! I never really thought about how much I missed not growing up with a man around the house every day. Don't worry about your husband not "getting it." It's a blessing that he's there for your girls!!!!!
This had me back in my 15 year old self! LOL
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